Skinny People All look the Same to Me

I try to be kind to skinny people, honestly I do. Sometimes it is harder than others. I struggle to tell you apart with your rapid movements and identical wardrobes purchased from the Gap (or wherever skinny people shop). I went into a Gap once, the salesman told me he had just the thing for me and even in my size! Then he escorted me straight over to the socks.

I am not sizeist, not really. Why, some of my best friends are skinny! Sure sometimes I am walking down the street and I hear footsteps over my shoulder and feel the creeping sensation of impending doom. Will I get mugged? Then I turn around and see a fat person and feel my fear melt away into relief.

Is that wrong? I don't know, but just knowing the person following me is struggling to maintain enough energy just to reach their destination is enough to soothe my nerves.

Ok, ok I concede this is made up. Anyone who knows me, knows how very unlikely it is to find me 'walking' down a street. Maybe up to a McDonalds, or into a convenience store, but I digress.

The world is built for the skinny, it's what I like to call 'Skinny Privilege'. I can see the puzzled expression on your face so I will help you out. Skinny Privilege or SP for short is a description of the inherent skinniness of the dominant population. SP exhibits itself in hiring and promotions in the workplace and is especially ugly when it rears its head in P.E. in our public school system. The worst of it is that those of you with SP aren't even aware of it.

Watch your back, oh skinny ones! That isn't a threat it's just an acknowledgement that our ranks are growing and soon we'll be the majority in more than just pounds! I would tell you that you can't run or hide (as if  we were in a movie) but we both know that as a skinny person, you can do both. I wouldn't be surprised if a skinny person was hiding behind me right now (or maybe in front, if they were on all fours and close enough...).

Skinny people are pretty great to have as friends . They are a great source of entertainment, especially when they talk about their "diets"! I mean seriously you call ten pounds a diet? I call it a finger, and I have lost that much in half of a day! They are always on the move and can be tricked into getting things, "Hey Todd, would you like a refill for your soda? Yeah? Cool, will you get me one while you are up?"

Skinny people will always be with us, but remember we all start out chubby, as nature and God intended it to be. Only skinny people aren't satisfied with his generous gifts and squander what they have. No judgement, I'm sure you had your reasons, but when you are ready to make a change come and talk to me. I'm always willing to offer a ham up.