I love Stand up Comedy. I would say I love blogging but as you are about to find out in the worst way. I am not a writer. Sure I can come up with funny stuff and sometimes even tug at the heart strings a little. However, what I bring to the table in wit and charm. I lack in spelling and grammar. You are probably wondering 3 things right now.
1. Why did I start like that?
2. When am I actually going to start?
3. Why have you read this far and more importantly why should you read any further?
Let me knock these out in order...
#1 - The one thing Stand up comedy and Blogging have in common; Is that there is no easy way to start. There are cheesy and disingenuous ways (Hello Chicago, who is ready to have a good time tonight!).
However, its always Awkward and little clumsy (not unlike my honeymoon...)
#2 - I am so skilled at being awkward and a little clumsy. That you hadn't even realized I already started! (not unlike my honeymoon) If you think about it. I have already introduced you to things I like and things I love. As well as admitted some flaws and set some expectations. Then I capped it off with some self deprecating humor.
#3 - I think this 2-part question has already worked itself out. You didn't make to here if you weren't entertained or at least intrigued thus far. You would have stopped reading already. So I'll assume we are buckled in and ready to ride until the wheels fall off.
#3 - I think this 2-part question has already worked itself out. You didn't make to here if you weren't entertained or at least intrigued thus far. You would have stopped reading already. So I'll assume we are buckled in and ready to ride until the wheels fall off.
- Last Wednesday I turned 39 years old. I only say that so we establish right off the bat that Zach, co contributor to this Blog is indeed Older than me. (He turns 40 in 5 months)
- Today I weighed myself and I was 507lbs. I only say THAT so we can establish that Zach also weighs more than I do. (He weighed aprox 517lbs last time he checked.)
- So now you know that I am the younger, better looking one. I am also the single one. So that is a happy coincidence.
Here are some other things I currently am that Zach is not; Divorced, Depressed and Unemployed.
These sound grim. They are not. They are temporary situations. They are things we encounter in life and we figure out how to overcome them. The grim part is that I was tested during these trials and I failed or am still failing. When my wife of 14 years and I separated 1 year and 1 day ago (July 7th 2012). I weighed 422lbs. It was only a couple months after we separated. When we were sure reconciliation was not possible. It had become clear it was not in the best interest of ourselves or more importantly our 3 children.
If I was a betting man, I would say that this was when the depression really started to kick in. It can be tricky and downright impossible to trace that back to an exact moment. Unless you have only had one trial in your life happen at a time. I don't know anyone like that. Everybody is going through something, usually several somethings of varying degrees.
If I was a betting man, I would say that this was when the depression really started to kick in. It can be tricky and downright impossible to trace that back to an exact moment. Unless you have only had one trial in your life happen at a time. I don't know anyone like that. Everybody is going through something, usually several somethings of varying degrees.
On Nov. 15th, 4 months after my separation, 2 months after the Divorce process had begun. I was laid off from the job I had been at for 5+ years. It was out of the blue and a week before we entered into the holiday gauntlet known as Thanksgiving/ Christmas/ New years. The timing was less than ideal.
Fast forward, for now, to today. Monday July 8th 2013. In what has been a long and arduous 12 months. I have gained 85lbs. Now if you consider that my Exwife weighed 115lbs. Then the combined total weight in my bed at night is still down -30lbs. Silver lining people if you look hard enough you'll find it.
How does one person gain 85lbs in just a year?
Well, divide that 85lbs by 12 months and we are talking about just a hair over 7lbs. a month.
You see many of us, maybe most of us, have gained 7lbs in a month before.
The difference here is I was more committed and consistent than any of you. Month after Month after Month...
Well, divide that 85lbs by 12 months and we are talking about just a hair over 7lbs. a month.
You see many of us, maybe most of us, have gained 7lbs in a month before.
The difference here is I was more committed and consistent than any of you. Month after Month after Month...
If you break that down even further;
- You will find that 7lbs divided by 4.34 weeks in a month = just over 1.6lbs a week.
- Divide that 1.6lbs a week by 7 days = .23lbs a day.
That is less than a 1/4lbs a day gained over the last year.
(Which both sounds like a lot and not very much all at the same time. Math is hard you guys...)
- You will find that 7lbs divided by 4.34 weeks in a month = just over 1.6lbs a week.
- Divide that 1.6lbs a week by 7 days = .23lbs a day.
That is less than a 1/4lbs a day gained over the last year.
(Which both sounds like a lot and not very much all at the same time. Math is hard you guys...)
So for the last year:
I responded to; stress, change, insecurity, depression, anger, hurt, fear etc...
by eating 1/4lbs more of food than I was burning off each day... Crazy right?
I responded to; stress, change, insecurity, depression, anger, hurt, fear etc...
by eating 1/4lbs more of food than I was burning off each day... Crazy right?
If I'm being honest...
That was probably 60% - 70% Calories from Pepsi alone.
(Lots more about my life long love affair with Pepsi to come in the near future)
I had stopped drinking Pepsi in an effort to lose weight back in late 2010 - 2012.
- In this tumultuous time. I consciously turned to my old friend and crutch to get me through the long days and even longer nights.
- I cannot tell you how much of this "Sweet Brown Heaven" I was putting away everyday.
I can tell you that I didn't miss a day (until I quit on 07/07/2013).
That was probably 60% - 70% Calories from Pepsi alone.
(Lots more about my life long love affair with Pepsi to come in the near future)
I had stopped drinking Pepsi in an effort to lose weight back in late 2010 - 2012.
- In this tumultuous time. I consciously turned to my old friend and crutch to get me through the long days and even longer nights.
- I cannot tell you how much of this "Sweet Brown Heaven" I was putting away everyday.
I can tell you that I didn't miss a day (until I quit on 07/07/2013).
So that in a nutshell is who I am. I will end this for now. I promise to return again soon and regularly to share more of my past and talk more about what the future holds for me.
I am an open person, an open wound and an open book. You may ask me anything. I find healing in writing, sharing and community. So join in or just follow along. It's your choice. Feel free to leave a comment or ask any question you want. I promise to answer it as funny and honestly as I can.
Geoffrey Dale Pierce III -
*** Here after known as GDPIII -***
*** Here after known as GDPIII -***
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