Hey FATASS!

If you are reading this, I hope you have already heard about Geoff's passing. I would not want anyone to find out this way. It was a shock even when I heard it from people I knew and trusted.

In the wake of his passing, I have had the opportunity to read back through all of Geoff's former blog posts. and his final one was so heartbreaking to me. He titled it, Life Just Keeps on Going.He described his feelings about a painful episode in his life, he did not describe it in detail and I won't fill in the details here.

Obesity is a miserable thing to deal with. I pity the folks who think fat people are just too lazy to not be fat. This isn't something that anyone "chooses" and when you realize how bad it has gotten it requires herculean efforts to undo it. It all gets mixed up in a bundle of feelings and pains that are all obstacles to success.

Go exercise! Sure I will take a walk... and then someone will throw something out of a car or just shout "Hey FATASS!" Genius comedians, every one.

You go out to dinner with family or friends and people stare at you. Sometimes a server will suggest the salads instead of what you just ordered. Perfect strangers feel very comfortable commenting on your weight and offer helpful advice on how to lose weight.

Am I saying that these experiences make it impossible? No, but I am saying maybe give the fat people in your life a break, they are dealing with some stuff that you are likely unaware of. Hell, give EVERYONE in your life a break, because they too are probably dealing with things of which you are unaware.

The point is... I miss Geoff, and I wish he had held on a little longer. I have learned to view my struggle with weight in the long term instead of the day or week, not perfectly, but mostly. 7 years ago I weighed 600 lbs. I lost 140 and then I put some back on, bounced around 500 for a few years, then last year I lost another 75, put 25 back on. I am starting again and my goal is to lose 50 lbs by May 31st. That will put me at my lowest weight in 10-15 years and 175 lbs, below 7 years ago. Then I am going to push for another 50 by Oct. 15 which will put me within 25 lbs of the weight I was when I married the beautiful Irene. Then 25 more by the end of the year? It's probably doable, 15 lbs per month more or less or 3.5 lbs per week..

And if I fail? Well, I recall the wise (if clunky) words of Bishop Richardson in my youth. He gave a lesson which began with him saying, "I want you to all be failures!" His point was that he would rather see us shoot for the stars and fail, by hitting the moon than shoot for nothing and succeed. Sometimes failure is still success, or stated another way, you haven't failed until you have stopped trying.